Being a man of the world, it's important to me to never compromise functionality for style. I roll with the hair and countenance of Tarzan, and so I need to balance out the dichotomy of 'the civilised' with 'the savage' on a daily basis. My lil Chargify helps me with that - case in point, whilst on a first date a few days ago, my female companion who was very clearly attracted to my savage aesthetic, lamented the lack of civilised culinary etiquette on display at dinner. Not being one to lay down in the savannah, I showed her my iPhone 15 pro and 2 things caught her eye - 1. a Hunter S. Thompson Cat with a dooby background pic, and 2. my battery sitting at 5%. I sensed she felt my biological battery was running hot ala Jake from Twilight, so realistically, I believed that more than made up for having a low phone battery.

Also being a man that was born from a woman, I know that there are times that one must relieve their bladder, so she excused herself from the table. Cue Chargify, plugged in the USB-C and mentally recited

Marianne Williamson's "Our Deepest Fear" whilst watching a ginger cat paw at pedestrians on the street. When my date returned, I pointed out the ginger cat, to which she really paid no heed.

My date then went on to tell me about her childhood with her Cat Sza Sza Gabor. I now understood why she didn't pay the ginger cat no further attention beyond a glance, she was still dealing with her grief of her feline loss from her childhood. By the time the…